Shadows Through The Glass

Sifting through these photographs
Like looking through the safety-glass
Of a favoured old car
Rolling backwards through the days
And I wonder where you are

Around the bends of months and years
Rain splatters, splashes, slides
On the glass, the snow falls
The windows cloud and clear of fog
Through these windows I've seen it all

Down back-road dreams and tree-lined streams
I chase your wanton shadow
And once I saw you sitting
With your foot dipped in the shallow
Where the damselflies were flitting

Now naught but mayflies linger
by the pools of wander-streams
Floating by your toe-ripples
Where the quick-fish get their fill
And stones are polished and sunlight-stippled

Around the curve your shadow flies
At the corners of my eyes
And I see you in the slow Autumn storm
Where the colours swirl and fly
And your limber-dress clings to your form

And I want to hold you, wrap you warm
But I bump my nose against the glass
And though I roll the window down
All has already come and passed
And the wind describes no sound

The leaves fly on the silent wind
Beyond the window frame
But your silent figure waves and fades
And the shadows shift again
And pouring sunlight fills the glade

I shift the car back into drive
And spin the torquing wheels
Smash the pedal flat and hard
Throw the gravel far and wide
To find another greensward

To catch you there before you hide
For a picnic with our animal pals
Remember how they frolicked?
How we laughed and chased them 'cross the lawn
And we wrestled there and rolicked?

But the windows frame the empty grass
Our animals resting in quiet graves
I'm left with only mist-eyed past
And tree-shadows and Spring perfume
And the teachings from our summer class

I turn the car back to current-home
Shake my head and crooked-smile
Check the rearview and widen-eyes
At my smoother face and darkened hair
And emit a startled cry

Slowly truth begins to dawn
As I clear away my reverie
That it's not on memory that I've drawn
I'm not even driving that other car
But a much favoured older one
And as I pull it up into my yard
I'm greeted by our beloved pets
And I look around to see where you are

copyright  J. Shidler 2009  use with permission